Aquacade!
Original is sold. I was able to donate money to help rebuild Maui. That made me happy. Kailua's Aquacade is a world famous festival that is fun for MOST ages. The famous Flamingo Regatta has become a 'once-every-four-year tradition' at Kailua Beach Park. The Aquacade only takes place during leap years (on February 29th), following the submarine races at approximately 3 a.m. Pool noodles are traditional neckwear for the local birbs.
Hey, kids! What YOU really need is a colorful Fiji Freddy Beach Towel for the seagulls to target. Heck, yeah! Original painting is SOLD!
Paintings, prints, T's and beach towels @ https//:www.etsy/shop/FreddyBarnett Great tropical art .....
at terrific prices too!
Welcome to my studio!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/freddybarnett. You deserve a great, big fluffy, cuddly beach towel. Yes, you do! And my fun and fantasy paintings and affordable prints can add fun to any home, office or tiki bar.
Beach Towels
Hey, kids! Get yourselve's a Tropical Tango Beach Towel. Even a 98 pound weakling can become the most popular kid on the beach!
Come visit my paintings, prints and beach towel designs @ https//:www.etsy/shop/FreddyBarnett Great tropical art .....
at terrific prices too!
An Excerpt from my epic novel, Shark Fin Soup (In this chapter, I feature my own parents as teenagers)
If you purchase one of my 5-Star rated books on Amazon, some of the proceeds actually go to a flamingo sanctuary in Florida! https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002N60GRQ
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“Those are kids? They look like old farts.”
“So, the old...uh, boy, Jules, dyed his hair white?” asked Bernie.
(The Barnett’s were only sixteen.)
Agent Bernie asked the Barnett’s to tell him more about the apparent killers.
"What did you tell the nice man," asked Claire?
“We used to be known as ROF, or Rich Old Farts. Then we went punk and called ourselves the Irritating Bowel Syndrome. We have a number one single out called ‘The Sound of Sirens’ from our hit CD, Elevator Music. You should check out our blog @.baldspot.com.. We’re sorry that we couldn’t get better descriptions for you,” said Jules. “We can’t see as well at night as we used to. Their killer's band truck, with the shark fin on top, was parked next to ours. Ours is the Handi-Van over there, and ...Oh, my god, it's amost three p.m. We have to get ready to go to dinner!”.
The humble Monstera Deliciosa plant.
Art, music, painting or life, for me, I always search for design. Here is a Monstera Plant Tiki. And a story about Marilyn Monstera a houseplant who appeared in many Hollywood productions.
T.K. Betelnut (the half-human half-tiki Interpol agent)soon realized: OMFTikiG, it is her! From television! Marilyn Monstera! Someone had discarded Marilyn Monstera on the hillside! Dumped her like a slutty areca palm. And though she faced a scenic vista that any silly human would be glad to pay $500 a night plus airfare for—just the idea that she had been treated like common pond scum or athlete’s foot fungus—discarded like a boring fern, was an insult to her eminence.
Some ROFS (rich old farts) had simply left her there, no doubt, when they were redesigning their fancy ROF home on the gated ROF section of Lanikai’s hillside.
The very patient, constipated, angry stick (T.K.) became angrier.
Marilyn Monstera (Lot#6532uhgy12) was the daughter of Hollywood royalty. A result of Plant Parenthood. Marilyn’s mother, ZhuZhu appeared in nearly every scene in the Thin Man movies of the 1940s. Her father, Moe, acted throughout the 1960s in the Anette and Frankie Beach Party films. Both parents were still alive in the executive offices of Warner Bros. and had been featured on over two hundred and fifty movie sets. They'd also been fixtures on Hollywood’s best buffet tables where they sometimes rubbed stems with Bogart, Bacall, Cooper, et al.
Marilyn’s first TV appearance was with her father, Leif, on the Surf City Sinners series (1961–1965), which is still considered a classic of the “swingin’ sixties.”
In the first Surf City Sinners episode, “A Ding in My Heart,” Marilyn’s father is observed “flipping the stamen.” This gesture took Leif Monstera over four hours to complete during forty different takes bungled by two so-called teen idols, Hanky and Panky. Many of the Monstera’s friends and relatives saw the episode from their Southern California living rooms and let out a laugh that was only heard by other plant life over the TPN (The Telepathica Pacifica Network). A “plant laugh” can register among botanicals for over a month.
After the stake-out, maybe he’d ask ‘sugar roots’ to take a spin with him in his new photosynthetic Chia. I could use a little fiber in my diet.
Since he first saw Marilyn on TV in1961, T.K. ‘Beaver Bait’ Betelnut, like all other healthy male saplings his age, wanted to toss her salad with a fine vinaigrette.
https://andthenthingsgotweird.libsyn.com/website/second-podcast-of-newport-69
NEW! My first podcast! Perdidos ( The island of lost celebrities) and The Love Muscle (Re-edited. The REAL history of 1960s Rock))
Batshit: The Return to Damnalot
The poster from my novel, Batsh!t
Exhibit Alert! "When Flamingos Ruled the Earth" — throughout the month of November 2022 at Morning Brew in Kailua, Oahu, Hawaii. Fantasy art on a grand scale. Please visit from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily.
Book Reviews. are very important to authors on Amazon
Bloody Good: True Shark Stories
I found this book at a great little independent bookstore in Kailua, HI and the cover jumped right out at me. So glad I got it since the stories and illustrations had me laughing (sometimes when I least expected it!). :) And, although the book covers many parts of the world, I really enjoyed that there were some Hawaii specific stories. It's always nice to learn interesting facts about the place you call home.
View this book’s reviews on Amazon
davidb
A great read and must have if you visit the beach
November 24, 2012
Fred's stories reflect his unusual take on the world.. his take on sharks seems to be fixed in reality and at the same time he has a unique way of presenting shark facts is an entertaining offbeat way, bookwise..its like "A Little Shop Of Horrors" meets "Jaws"... completely entertaining.. you will probably read this over and over like I have.. I read somewhere Fred was teaching a class about sharks to young children for a while in Hawaii.. as I understand it many of those children have not set foot on a beach in years.. probably saving a few lives here and there. Anyway buy this book you will thank me.
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K.R.R.
Wowsie!
August 16, 2009
What a great book! I laughed, I cried (from laughing), I thought. This writer has put together a thought-provoking and entertaining collection of shark tales. It's a great read for all sea lovers and those who have yet to discover that they are sea lovers.
Shark Fin Soup
courtney
He's done it again! :)
July 7, 2018
Verified Purchase
Once again, Fred has created a world that makes you laugh, squirm (in a good way), and laugh some more. I LOVE it when wildly creative people can muster the attention span to create amusing and amazing worlds for readers to tune in to... and enjoy along with the author (you can tell he was having a blast while writing this). :)
Cara Nunez
Five Stars
June 29, 2018
| Verified Purchase
Well written and very funny. Hiassen-isque
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Sharon S.
What a fun book to read
June 9, 2018
| Verified Purchase
What a fun book to read. Fred Barnett has a wonderful sense of humor. I love the way he writes and you can picture the characters in the book. I recommend this book!
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Tish Lombardelli
Way too much fun.
May 31, 2018
| Verified Purchase
Amazingly clever. Fred Barnett takes you through Tiki-Mania and Spydome. South Pacific thriller. Must read! Way too much fun.
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Bug House (Now known as The Kingdom of the Cats) Short stories.
courtney
delightfully spooky and amusing
October 30, 2017
| Verified Purchase
Bug House is a collection of delightfully spooky and amusing stories that are perfect for the Halloween season... I love them all, but am particularly amused by "Duh Mawth Who Ate My Shawts"! :)
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Ilil R. Arbel
A True Gem!
September 30, 2017
Anyone familiar with Fred Barnett’s writing knows that his worldview is unique and that nothing he sees is quite what it seems to the rest of us. His new book Bug House will not disappoint his fans. The book is a collection of funny, charming, and witty tales, supposedly for young adults but most enjoyable for adults as well. Ghosts, villains, and ancient curses are all there, ready to scare anyone who loves an imaginative horror story. The illustrations are lovely and perfect for the text. Put this book, a flashlight, and some snacks in a package, and you have the perfect present for Halloween!
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An awesome adventure! :)
June 24, 2015
Five Stars
April 21, 2017
Fred's writing style is fun, sassy, outside-of-the-box, and an overall hoot! He'll make you think AND laugh! :)
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Bats: Return to Damnalot (Re-released as Batshit)
Carol Kelly
Once Bitten, Twice Read
October 13, 2015
BATS........a story that sucks you in the minute you start reading it. Fun, dark, weird, and did I say fun? My hubby, and I, thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks, Fred!
View this book’s reviews on Amazon
This book is a hilarious trip! From the start you enter into a world that is so different from your own that you gladly give yourself permission to enjoy the ride... and what a ride it is (first stop: a clown date!)! The author views the world from a tremendously unique perspective... and I feel lucky to be able to tap into that perspective through the pages of this book.
View this book’s reviews on Amazon
(Dark) humor at its best!
June 24, 2015
| Verified Purchase
Love the dark humor of this book! Being a hippie-wannabe myself, the chapter Hippie Bait had me in stitches! The author seems to have a knack for tapping into personality types and culling out the most amusing portions of them! I got a huge kick out of this book!
My 'whimsical' Lie-berry of buks
I have some rilly rilly rilly cute novels
Announce coming events
I have a rilly rilly cute art exhibit going on through November at Morning Brew, Kailua. It's rilly rilly rilly extra cute. Soon, I will officially announce my December opening at The Gallery on the Pali
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Aloha from Kailua, Hawaii!
Cool off with a refreshing Whimsicle!
< The Painting on the left is still 'in progress.' I call it 'The Lullaby of Birbland.'
My Date with Mr. Jingles - Podcast
Please check out my new PODCAST @ https://sites.libsyn.com/227444/website
Don't expect 'the usual'...